


if you could save a life, would you?

by whyfearit



Category: Degrassi
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whyfearit/pseuds/whyfearit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ultimately, Maya Matlin does not end up saving a life. She never realized there was a life to save.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

"If you could save a life, would you?"

Maya looks at him skeptically, but the smile on the dark haired boy in front of her doesn't falter. What an odd conversation starter for the first day at Degrassi. An odd meeting for what turned to be an odd relationship, one later that breaks a few hearts. 

Of course she would try to save someone's life if she could. Any decent person would, but what even _counts_ as dangerous? The cafeteria food?

Ultimately, Maya Matlin does not end up saving a life. She never realized there was a life to save.


	2. facerange

Campbell stares at his computer intently as he attempts to send a message to his friend back home.

"Hey, how are you?"

No, that won't do.

"Miss me yet?"

No, no, _no_.

"I wish I back with you guys."

His fingers stop typing, and he takes a deep breath. Campbell holds down the backspace button until the whole message is deleted and closes the Facerange messenger. He closes his laptop and falls onto his bed -- the Clarkson's bed. His bed is twelve hours away with his brothers and sisters and mother and god, he wonders how he ever thought this was a good idea. No friends, no family -- just a bunch of hockey jocks who make him feel like everything he says is completely stupid. He's taking Grade Nine French; of course he's stupid.

Campbell sits up and opens his laptop again. He nearly forgot about the French project. He types the name "Maya Matlin" in the search bar and clicks "Add Friend." He starts to enter in "Tristan Milligan" as well but stops when it dawns on him he may be bothering them. It's just a stupid French project, not a invitation of friendship.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.


	3. the lost marathon: try one

Campbell thinks he may really like Maya.

They have been chatting constantly on Facerange, and it's just so nice to be able to talk to someone. Not just about Lost or school but how he's feeling and how she's feeling. He loves this feeling, and he doesn't want it to stop.

He walks up to her when she's at her locker and loudly says, "Hey!"

The blonde turns to him with a bit of a confused expression before it appears she understands and replies, "Oh, hey Campbell. Uh..." She stuffs sheets of paper in her backpack hastily. "How are you today?"

"A lot better than yesterday. Thank you...for that," he mumbles, his voice getting quieter. After clearing his throat, he adds, "Look, I know I said I would lend you that season of Lost, but I was thinking -- and you can totally say no -- but maybe I could watch it with you. It's a bit confusing, so I can explain anything for you. It'll be fun and we could hang out?"

He mentally kicks himself for sounding for pathetic.

Maya has an ambivalent look on her face and bites her lip, which worried Campbell that he has totally messed everything up. He prepares for the worst -- that she doesn't want to be friends, that he's overstepping his boundaries, that she's got a boyfriend, that she really doesn't like him that way or any way.

"I'd love to," she says quickly. "But you know, I'm really busy with music lately, and I watch things in the dead of the night so that plan might not work out."

He frowns.

"Hey, don't get mopey! Um, I really want to, and maybe we can do that on a later date okay? We'll talk out the details on Facerange. I promise," she says with a smile. She looks away for a bit and then looks back at him. "I need to go find Tristan right now. We need to go over...French homework. Talk to you later?"

And when they do talk later online, he feels a lot better.


	4. betrayal

Why does everything have to be some big joke?

Campbell knows he was harsh to Tristan and Maya, but they lead him on. He thought he finally had someone to talk to, and they couldn't even tell him who they really were, like some kind of sick joke. Maybe they wanted to mess with the new kid's head. Maybe they're conspiring with Dallas and the rest of his team. He's so goddamn sick of all of this.

He wants to message them an apology, but he stops himself because they hurt him. They should apologize.

He gets to courage to try to message his friend, Noah, again. He has nothing to lose, right?

"Hey, Noah."

Keep it nice and simple. He presses "enter."

After what seemed like hours, he gets a reply back saying, "Sup." Campbell considers telling him about everything and how upset he's been, but no one likes a downer. He tells him nothing much really and that hockey is pretty intense at Degrassi.

He gets another one word reply: "Cool."

Campbell Saunders never exactly knows what to say, but he feels the conversation is already over.


	5. people

Maya Matlin isn't a bad a person.

Sure, she lied to him and betrayed his trust, but she seems sincerely sorry. She even defended him earlier in the cafeteria. Admittedly, that was not his best moment. So Campbell swears to himself he will apologize to her the next time he sees her and earn her forgiveness and it'll all be good.

And maybe if she didn't mind maybe she would possibly want go hangout with him some time after school no big deal.

Maybe he wants a date.


	6. you should have kissed her

Campbell Saunders should have definitely kissed the girl because now things are just awkward.

He couldn't help freaking out in the photobooth because the boy has never kissed a girl before. How do people even do it? They pucker their lips and just go for it? What if he misses? What if he does it wrong? She's so pretty; she's probably had lots of great kisses.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And now she's kissing his ear and all she wants to talk about is hockey, of all things. Was what she said in the photobooth all lies? Just more tricks and jokes? Girls are so confusing, and he can't even think straight. She's using him and is going to make him feel terrible like everyone else at this stupid school.

Except maybe Bianca. She was cool.


	7. bianca

Campbell has just harshly rejected Maya Matlin. In hindsight, he regrets it tremendously. Yes, she could be only after him because of his stupid hockey career, but it kills him thinking of the look on her face when he tells it's over. It occurs to him that yes, there is a possibility she honestly does like him and the girl in the photobooth wasn't a lie. He's confused and wishes he had _someone_ to talk about this with.

His friends at home are out of the question. Were they even friends anymore? They never talk to him.

His family would probably laugh at how silly he's being and tell him what he wants to hear.

Tristan and Tori are a definite "no".

He ends up seeking out Bianca during lunch. He catches her right before she enters the girls' restroom again. She's surprised to see him and shoots him a curious look, a bit taken aback by his sudden appearance. Say something, you idiot.

"Hi." The words stop short.

She stares at him for a bit before replying, "Hi. I see you're heading to the girls' restroom again."

His face turns red and Campbell stumbles out, "N-no, I wanted to talk to you." He pauses, trying to recollect himself. "You said before I should spend time with people who don't suck in this school. I don't think you suck."

"Gee, thank you," she says, flashing a smile. "I'm actually kind of busy right now. What with Bright Sparks and Drew, my schedule is a bit packed." She frowns and goes on to say, "I'm really sorry, kid. You're bound to find someone else though. Degrassi...isn't that bad when you expand your circle a bit."

"Oh."

He meets rejection once again.

Campbell Saunders decides to take a walk to Maya's house after school. It's time to stop burning bridges and start building them up because god he needs someone.


	8. hockey

Hockey has become an unbelievable disappointment.

He almost has it; he know he does. He can figure out how to beat the other team in the next match -- he knows he can.

Maya doesn't understand how much hockey means to him. It's been his whole life, and it's a huge blow that he can't seem to get it together on the rink. She tells him he needs time off, a break. Hockey is stressing him out, and he needs to take a breather. He couldn't possibly do that.

He thinks of how playing hockey with Justin was the highlight of his childhood and how the memory still makes him happy. It's the reason hockey makes him happy. Or at least it used it.

See, when Campbell overhears the team talking behind his back, having a laugh about him, he feels sick. He feels terribly _unhappy_ and the feeling overwhelms him. He wants to run away, far away from his team, and crawl under a rock because he feels unhappy. 

Why did he even bring this carton of milk? He wasn't seriously considering to drink himself sick to get out of hockey. Campbell Saunders loves hockey. Always has, always will. It makes him happy and no cruel jocks will get in the way of that. Yet he's still gripping on the carton tightly.

A part of him knows he's looking for an escape. Because he's been unhappy since the moment he came to this school and maybe Maya is right. Maybe he needs a break. He thinks of how Dallas would just laugh at him if Campbell tells he doesn't want to play today. He doesn't understand why people find his unhappiness so funny.

He chugs down the carton, and now his body feels as sick as his mind.


	9. after karaoke

Campbell had a really nice time tonight.

The five of them sit outside at the bus stop, all tired and ready to call it a day. Maya had already passed out, rest her head on his shoulder. Zig went back inside to Little Miss Steaks to use the restroom as Tristan took out his phone to call his mother and let her know he would be home soon.

Campbell smiled to himself, thinking of how his mother would be up all night waiting for him to come home. She doesn't have to worry anymore. The thought wipes the smile off his face. He then felt Tori tap his other shoulder.

"You have a good time?" she asks softly.

Campbell turns to look at Maya, sleeping soundly next to him. "I did, actually. It was a lot of fun. It beats hockey practice any day."

"Yeah, we're so much cooler than hockey. You should hang out with us more."

For a second, he almost considers it. Skipping hockey practice more, spending more time with Maya and her friends. It makes him feel happy, and god does he need to feel happy these days. He looks down, seeing the Ice Hounds emblem on his jacket and remembering what the team said about him earlier that day.

He finally manages out, "I..." His words stop short, and then he tries again. "No, I couldn't do that..."

Silence hangs in the air for a while, Campbell continuing to avoid looking Tori in the eye. He felt her hand on his shoulder once more, a wary gesture.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah," he says, clearing his throat. He looks up at her, trying to flash a smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She seemed unimpressed. "Just...if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

It comes out of nowhere, and he's not entirely sure what she means. He says thank you.

The bus arrives.


End file.
